oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
