Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
