Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
