I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize