he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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