i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize