He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
