I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
