I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
