I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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