I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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