Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
