My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
