his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
