DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
