I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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