is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
