i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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