An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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