so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
