no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
