i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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