We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize