Your tits are I can't wait for
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
