glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
