I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
