You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
