how can u be prego again
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just found puke in my bra..
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
