okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize