she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
we're making bets on your personal life
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize