You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
areolas are like halos for boobs.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
