If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
