Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
