i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I met the friendliest cop last night
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
