I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
