I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
