He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize