Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
