Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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