I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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