Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
