Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
if only i could text you this smell
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
