girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize