If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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