who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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