I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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