I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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