the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
