this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize