Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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