I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She told me I should be a condom model.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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