Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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