I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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