remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize