If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
