I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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