I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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