Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
