i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
